Date:     July 2016

Position:  NZ

Weather:  NZ weather – rain, snow, sun, wind

Kiwi Experience

Facebook Update

Tuesday, 26 July 2016 at 12:15 UTC+12

“So, Monday (yesterday) morning I had a meeting with my boss who has been on holiday for three weeks – basically to say to him well, I have broken both your boats and the weather has been shite so even when they weren’t broken, they didn’t earn much money. And this is was I get in return! FUCK I LOVE MY JOB! Queenstown here I come thanks to kiwi experience. ????????????❄⛄?⚓?✈⛵? #sailbarbary #kiwiexperience #lifeisgood”

And so commenced a couple of weeks of awesomeness!

How I ended up on a Big Green Bus

It wasn’t entirely my fault, but both our boats had broken on my watch.  My poor boss and his family had their first proper holiday in a couple of years and returned to my sorry tale of woe.  To be fair, they were ongoing niggle issues, but anyway, the upshot being, both boats were not working.  So I had to ring him and say, how about we meet for breakfast on Monday because you are not working today.  By the time we met for eggs benedict, he had formulated a plan.  While the boats were out for maintenance, I had no work, so I might as well bugger off for a holiday.  He had called Kiwi Experience to see if they had space.  They did!  It was on to the internet for me to decide what trips I wanted to do, confirm with them and voila!  Meet the bus outside the backpackers 0930 Wednesday morning and be off!

I will try not to make this a blow by blow account, but apologise in advance if I do!

Taupo to River Valley

Typical mid-winter weather in NZ – it was pissing down with rain when I met the bus.  And I mean pissing down.  The bus was full, and I knew everyone would be a bit bent out of shape as since their arrival in Taupo on Monday: skydiving with  Skydive Taupo, the Tongariro Crossing with  Tongariro Expeditions where cancelled because of weather and sailing with Sail Barbary was cancelled because of me.  All in all, not the most successful stopover.  It’s a bit of funny thing joining a tourist bus in your own country.  Everyone on the tourist circuit is welcoming to newcomers on the coach.  Que a kiwi accent and watch them look at you sideways.  The first question then is always “how come you are making this trip?”  Well, the answer to that is long troy short, you know how you were meant to go on a boat trip on Monday night, and you couldn’t cause the boats where broken?  That was my fault.  So here I am, doing a bus trip around NZ!

Taranaki Falls

A quick stop in Turangi at the supermarket to top up on supplies of cigarettes and Meusli bars and onto Whakapapa village in the Tongariro National Park for a spin around the Taranaki Falls walk.  This track is a neat little loop at the base of Mt Ruapehu. It starts behind the Chateau Tongariro (the most ridiculously inappropriate building for its surroundings, yet strangely it works).  It was still pissing down, in spite of which, over half the bus decided to go for a walk.

Fortune favoured the brave. It stopped raining as we came past the Cascade Falls (you get two cool waterfalls) and Mt Ruapehu put in an appearance.  We were all feeling pretty good as we rocked up to the base of the Taranaki falls, which come out of an old lava flow. The track climbs up the side of the falls and opens out into a lovely view of the valley below.  On a sunny day, there is a cracking view of Ngaruahoe which alas remained hidden in cloud. The track continues to loop back to the Chateau to return us to our big green chariot.

National Park

We continued onwards to River Valley, via the National Park.  It is a pretty cool drive.  That side of the mountains is the windward side, all wet an juicy forest compared to the Desert Road.  Looking out the window, I should have been enjoying the view.  Instead, I was worried about my future.  River Valley.  A fantastic white water rafting venue.  About two years prior to this, I had had a really rough day at work.  Weather-wise that is.  I had cancelled a 2 pm trip because it was feral but forecasted to be easing later on in the day.  I told the guys to come out for a later cruise that was going to be a crash and a bash with some beers.  Two of them agreed.  They were rafting guides from River Valley and they didn’t believe me when I told them the whole boat was going to get wet.  Assuming the skipper is the person who will remain dry, they made the mistake of standing beside me.  then, they invited me to go rafting with them.  I knew how this was going to role.  Revenge is great.

Waioru

We stopped in Waioru – conveniently parked beside a Subway and all of us proceded to descend on it and order food as though we would never see it again.  Something I have noticed when I travel, I always take the opportunity to eat.  There is a little voice in my head that convinces me for some reason; food might never be on offer again.  As a result, when on holiday I eat twice as much as I do in real life.  Especially things like pies and other takeaways.

I found myself standing there in Waioru stuffing my face and contemplating my fate.  In forty-five minutes, I would be a river valley and would have to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why I didn’t want to go white water rafting, (which is rubbish, because I love white water rafting).  The whiter, the better.  But it was winter, and as part of my job, I spend most of my time in varying degrees of wet and cold.

We all trooped back onto the bus, to be faced with the clipboard for activities and accommodations available at River Valley.  My get out of jail free card turned up.  There was horse trekking.  Yay, I could use the excuse that I try and do things I don’t usually get to do!  Gleefully, I signed up for that option.  I was feeling pretty good when we pulled up to the Valley.  The downside was, there was a fantastic roast dinner with all the trimmings.  And I was chock full of Subway.  Being the trooper that I am, I soldiered on through!

Horse Riding

After a rather big night of alcohol-fueled shenanigans, we all struggled up to breakfast (huge cooked breakfast) to commence our day.  It was pissing down again and blowing a gale.  I felt pretty happy I was not heading out on the water with everyone else.  Four of us had chosen a horse trek, and off we went to find the stables.

They do this cool thing with their horses.  They match you with a horse based on your experience etc. (felt like signing up to a dating website).  Also, they do not shoe their horses, and they do not use bits.  You don’t just rock up to a line of horses all saddled and jump on the nearest one.  We get to the stables, our horses are waiting, and the weather was rubbish.  The actual trekking was cancelled because the trails were far too slippery, we were all useless with no riding experience and would have gotten blown off the horses in any case.

Waiting

We had three hours to kill whilst the rest of the team where rafting, so we decided to talk to the horses in any case.  As it was, the squall blew through, we saddled up (actually did put the saddles on, curried them and everything) and went for a walk around the yard.  A very enlightening experience!  I don’t see a career in horse riding anytime soon!  We decided to get brave and go for a wee ride.  Down the driveway and back up.  And it was really cool!  I even successfully took the worst selfy ever.  I managed to not get myself in it.  As someone drolly commented on my FB page – “you do realise that is a horses arse!”  We were met at the lodge by a bunch of wet, cold and hungry rafters. Another epic feed and it back on the bus.

Wellywood bound

It is a pretty and very windy road from River Valley back onto St Highway One at Taihape. By this point, hangovers were kicking in all around, and the bus was pretty quiet.  We were all happy to drool against the windows.  We made a team decision not to stop in Levin (not an unreasonable idea) and push on through to Wellington, and the first wifi in 24 hours.  The weather was pretty ordinary, so everyone was looking forward to a night out in the bright lights, big city!